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My set up includes 3 separate Gmail accounts which then share their calendar with the others. These accounts are then used to sync the iphones where needed. I can add/edit items in my own calendar, as well as theirs.In the left hand column, next to the name of your calendar, click the down pointing arrow and select Share this calendar by entering the email address of the person you want to share with. Have your wife do the same. At that point, your calendars are linked and both can be synced to your iPhones.
My best recommendation comes from a typical scenario where we are both at work and I can add an appointment I scheduled while at another clients and my wife sees that new appointment immediately in her Google Calendar. It really helps to cut down on cross-scheduled appointments and other confusion."
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